Diary To Cloud

7 out of 11 of my college applications asked me which religion I chose to follow. To the credit of whichever nosy person came up with that question, the options were endless. In fact, if I was ever confused about which religion I should follow, I now had a variety to choose from. 

Religion can be a very touchy subject for people. People dedicate their lives to their beliefs; they raise their families with their beliefs and start fights over it. Growing up, religion was a pretty significant part of my life. My mom is Hindu, and my dad is Muslim. Growing up in India, this wasn’t very normal. In fact, some people could argue that it’s not a very great thing for a person to admit to. My experience with religion started off even before I was born. Initially, their families weren’t very excited about them getting married. After months of arguments, door slamming and “But, I love him/her!”, my grandparents agreed to the marriage and they had a quiet and civil wedding ceremony. Four years later, I was born. A bi-religious baby girl. 

My childhood wasn’t as dramatic as I describe it. My parents are very progressive people and let me practice both religions growing up. I was raised to embrace both beliefs rather than pick one or the other. I celebrated Eid with my dad’s family and Diwali with my mom’s family. I have always loved both kinds of traditions, and in my mind, I did truly believe in both religions, Hinduism and Islam.

That being said, growing up in a bi-religious wasn’t always easy. I got several rude comments. Sometimes, when someone would ask what religion I was, I would feel like answering one or the other would mean I am being disloyal to the other parent. But, if I said I was Hindu and I was Muslim, I would inevitably get a strange look. Because there was no way for someone to believe so strongly in two faiths that are so different from each other, two faiths that were constantly fighting each other in India. 

So, to answer 7 out of 11 of the colleges that were being nosy, I told them I was agnostic. That’s the street name for “an atheist without enthusiasm or energy”.  In other words, I don’t believe it till I see it. With that being said, I also approach religion the same way I approach sexuality. I don’t care.

Diversity, equity and belonging are three fundamentals that I value the most as someone who has experienced what it’s like to not feel a sense of belonging in one community or the other because of my bi-religious heritage. It is with that sense of longing to be in a community that values me for my unique upbringing that motivates me to be who I am, with no apologies.